Steve Evans (right) interviews Dale Pulde at the 1982 U.S. Nationals.

It's been a joy to re-visit these old clips working on this (as Wally Cox's character said in the movie 'The Night Strangler', "Research, THAT'S the glory.") and how great was the was the late, great Steve Evans, anyway?

I saw a motivational film in junior college, a Professor Morris Massey was touted as being able to 'speak at the rate you can think', and he was indeed a dizzying and hysterical fellow. Steve could definitely give him a run for his money, though. The amount of information he could give you during a pitside drop-in was truly amazing.

But again, back to the tape aspect. Back then they had luxury of massaging these shows in the studio. When I'm seeing Dave McClelland calling an upset win by Tripp Shumake over Raymond Beadle at Ontario, his voice rising and falling with excitement, well, be sure to drink your Ovaltine and remember he wasn't doing that in real time. Remember the scene in the 'Snake and Mongoo$e movie', where the amalgam of media-personas is going "the SNAKE....bites...the MONGOO$E"? Kinda like that, only not as stupid, or with the Ron Burgundy porn-star-mustache either. There's no shame in rehearsal, and Messrs Evans and McClelland probably embraced it as well.

Much like Tony Kornheiser, I have the yellow legal-pad, with some likes and dislikes on the current broadcasts, and the first thing I like is this shot Fox Sports 1 is doing for the race start. I feel like I'm in the top row of the grandstand a hundred feet out. The Deuce went with a whirlwind (I counted as many as five) of shots during the course of a 4-second pass. I mean really, how many keys do we have to shake at people? Sometimes less is more.

What I can totally live without is the fashion statement. If you’re wearing a suit coat, get a nice shirt and tie. If that's too "going-to-church" for you, golf-shirt with the logo on the front. A suit coat over a flannel shirt?? You look like an IDIOT! Now, guests in the booth, that's cool, but how about a little variety? Now, I know what you’re going to say, in terms of pros we barely have 48 drivers to pick from, but who says it even HAS to be a pro? Or a huge name?

Yes, Capps is good copy and he "knows how" to get up there in the sponsor’s shirt, but sometimes it's almost like I'm waiting for Wayne and Garth to pop up in the background with gym shoes and pizzas. Shake it up, guys! What about Blake Alexander, or Luigi Novelli? Better yet, how about both at the same time? That could be funny, picture Luigi saying "Blake, I've got burnt pistons older than you!"

And, for the love of God, if Tony P. does something like "carbon...FIBER" again, go dig up Nixon’s old secretary, because that's a tape that should just be erased (she was good at that) and go for a second take. (Again, rehearsal -- 'embrace it.)

Well, that's "that-for-that", and I'll borrow the line from that song, "The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.” The ratings are already up from last year, which means Faye Dunaway won't have Tony P. shot. Hey, think of The Snake’s 1972-74 Buttera 'Cuda, an ever-evolving machine that got better as it went along.

Put down the rakes and torches, maybe write some polite and encouraging letters to the network with your ideas. We are on a tad bit of a role here, and much like a fuel tuner assembling a baseline, things can only build, grow, and get better week by week. Who knows, come the fall, there could be some first-timers in the stands at a track near you, who will say something to the affect of, "Well, it sure looked fun and exciting on TV...."

Next month we head south of the 'Manson/Nixon' line for my crazy '94 adventures at Darlington Raceway. Take care, one and all, I AM Chicago Jon. C-YAAAAA!!! [05/11/16]