by Aaron Polburn

A Drag Racer’s Christmas

YOU KNOW ITS A DRAG RACER’S CHRISTMAS

1. When a stocking stuffer includes a couple of metric sockets.
2. When everything on your wish list came from a Summit catalog.
3. When you decide to work on your racecar just about the time Aunt Edna and Uncle Fred arrive for their annual Christmas visit.
4. When the family watches It's A Wonderful Life while you watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.
5. When you try to convince your wife that an engine hoist would be a wonderful "Big Gift"... for her.
6. When Bud Lite replaces eggnog as the holiday drink of choice.
7. When your Christmas cookies seem to resemble Goodyear slicks.
8. When the family gathers around the table and the main topic of conversation is about your local track.

THINGS YOU MUST DO THIS CHRISTMAS

1. Re-gift just one present and give it back to the original gift giver.
2. Play Manheim Steamroller's Silent Night with just the tree lights on.
3. When shopping becomes stressful, smile at someone you don't know.
4. Go see Trans Siberian Orchestra.
5. When you see a soldier in uniform tell him or her thanks.
6. Eat that second piece of pie and feel zero guilt.
7. Start a Christmas tradition.
8. Make a snowman or sandman depending on climate.
9. Give the dog or cat something special.
10. Don't yell at the dog or cat when you discover tinsel-laden poop.
11. Never forget the reason for the season.

Godspeed. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.