As you know, a hot knife will go through butter fairly easy, but not as fast as an angry looking cop with a Mag-lite® though a crowd of merry-makers, and that was the case as Lt. Colonel "Dean Vernon Wormer" suddenly appeared, sawing his way through the crowd. With the flick of a switch, I find myself going from a "Hunter S" mindset to a "Geraldo-esque" stance, because this has suddenly gone from 'story' to 'NEWS', and I start following the guy, with cameras at my side. Turns out somebody has taken a turn for the worse, whether it be too much peach-pie moonshine or a more severe medical scenario, the fella is down and out. Not "Down goes FRAZIER!" out, but he's not doing very well, and I start taking pictures. In the opinion of Officer Wormer, this is a bad idea, and he pegs me with the light to make sure I realize that. I'm never afraid of the spotlight, but I sure as hell can live without the MAG-LITE®, so I duck down and run over to my campsite, slap on a different shirt and a hat (had I brought one of those fake-glasses/giant-nose/mustache dealies, I probably woulda put that on as well) and returned to the fray. Sure enough, here come MORE cops, rescue squads, hell, even a fire engine, and oh, by the way, show’s over, move along, nothing to see here, remain calm, ALL IS WELL!

It seemed almost appropriate that my 2015 Indy would reach the early conclusion that it did, as six days in the 90-degree-plus heat had me with my head in a trash barrel yacking my guts out after second round on Monday - I do not do well with heat, and it was letting me know that with thunderous aplomb. As UFO asked in the song Rock Bottom, "where do we go from here?"

Well, that's a good question, and I do not have a rock-bottom answer. Change is inevitable, and the list of changes that I've weathered since my first Indy (1972, for the record) is long and robust, be it the end of 32 Top Fuel cars on Monday or the end of 32 dragsters PERIOD or the demolition of the '1,000 Foot Club.' Show of hands, remember when the manufacturer’s midway was something you WANTED to do? How about making the rounds of the motels in town to see who was working on their car in the parking lots? All that and more, are like the line in Springstein’s song My Hometown, you know, “Foreman says these jobs are going, boys, and they aren't coming back...to your hometown.”

So, exactly where IS the definitive "Popeye moment', where you go "That’s all I can stands, I can't STANDS NO MORE!"?

The people running the campground, they didn't ask for the highway but you can get an idea of what 2016 holds from what they started with this year; simply put, parking cars has gotten the old SQUAWDOOOSH in favor of the higher revenues of extending the campsites southward. And even if the future holds true to assigned spots with a definitive size (hopefully not as small as I got at MIS in 2013, on paper 18x35 sounded OK, but try putting two tents and a car on that. As Todd Veney’s hero Rodney would say, "that place was so small, even the mice were hunchbacked!") there would/could/should be no problem AT ALL with simply reserving several sites in a row and still having Ike or any musician perform.

I'm not going to slap on a tinfoil hat, put my computer in Mom’s basement and start screaming CONSPIRACY!, but it certainly seems like somebody is telling someone to "reel in that zoo fraternity, I don't want any drunken riots in my town." Case in point: another tradition came crashing down this year, the storied "Top Fool Alcohol Crew" did not build a float this year. (They declined comment for this story.)

Camp Chicago

The U.S. Nationals race will continue, the diehards will continue to buy tickets, I'll probably still go, but as far as camping in the fine hamlet of Clermont? Yeah, I think I'm done there. Me, my pink flamingos, American flag, tents and beer-garden will continue to seek adventures, albeit in different towns or different racing circuits. I mentioned the postage-stamp they gave me at Michigan International Speedway in 2013, when I "kvetched" to the home office on that, they recommended a campground on the other side of the track. Boy-HOWDY, talk about heaven-sent -- bigger sites, more people, crazy all-night parties, AND A BAND! Fun is out there, you just have to look in the right places!

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Time for me to fly. Before I go I want to thank the usual suspects and more. Thanks to the gang at DRAG RACING ONLINE, the best racing website in the history of the planet, and everybody back at the venerable Phlegm Building. I also want to thank you, the reader. It’s my hope to entertain and inform, and I appreciate your hanging around for my spin on things. Special thanks to Ike and all of 'Team Social', you took an awesome thing like the Nationals and made it even better. On the subject of "even better", the coffers of the Drag Racing Association of Women are even better thanks to your fund-raising efforts, to which I salute you, campground-style, hoisting a frosty malt-themed beverage aloft and calling out..."SOCIAL!!!"

It’s been a blast. As always, I AM Chicago Jon, time for me to say...CCCC-YYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!